I’ve always knew I wanted kids. Who doesn’t?! It’s just I never felt like I was “that age”.. you know the age where you are buying cars and houses.. and then suddenly you blink. You’ve bought your first car…. you’ve bought TWO houses. But is it the right time? I’ve always told myself (and every single person that asks why we haven’t had kids yet) that there would be a day, where I would be sitting somewhere.. and just feel like something is missing out of my life. And that would be kids. This would be the epiphany that would tell me, it’s time. Then, we’ll get pregnant, have a baby and life will be bliss, as it always has been.
My husband has ALWAYS wanted children. He’s been patient with me through the years, where I just felt like I need “us” time. I’m a firm believer in “us” time. We traveled, fairly often, and that’s exactly what I wanted to do with that time. Just enjoy each other. Just lay there in bed and stare at each other. I’ve never witnessed a love like I have with my husband. He’s the most supportive and patient person I’ve ever met. And I’m so so lucky to have him. I tell myself that every day.
We kept saying that we would start trying in the fall of 2014. We would have been married for four years, we would have gone on our big trips that we needed to go on.. it would be the perfect time. Fall of 2014 came, and I just wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to give up my alone time with my husband. I still loved our “us” time.. and I wasn’t ready to let that go. So we said that we would wait another year. Fall of 2015 came and I’d never been more stressed at work. I would come home and get calls, I never felt like I had a day off to myself. We said that we’d go on one more cruise and then start trying to get pregnant. We always said that we wanted to go back to Bermuda.. we honeymooned there (July 2011). This would be our five year anniversary, so what better time?! We planned the trip for May 2016. My husband was so excited! It was finally happening, we were going to get pregnant! I have to admit, I was excited, just nervous. I knew this was something I wanted.. it was just such a HUGE life step. But the time had come.
The trip to Bermuda was everything I could have ever asked for and more. I’ll spare you the details and skip to the spoiler alert. I didn’t get pregnant. Hmm. Well I had always heard it doesn’t necessarily happen the first time you try.. so okay, we’ll keep trying.